There are many important elements to a marriage… love, compassion, honesty… but one element may get overlooked a bit more than others. Not because it is any less important, but it is sometimes one that is not high on the list for most people, and that is generally due to a lack of it in their own marriage. This key element is laughter.
I recently ran across an article on the PBS website that discusses all the benefits of laughter and humor and had to share them here. I believe that if we laughed more in our lives and especially in our marriages, there would much fewer problems in our relationships.
Benefits:
- Physically speaking, laughter reduces our stress levels, increases relaxation, and can even reduce pain!
- Laughing is good for our minds! It increases our levels of creativity, helps with our memory, and even improves our problem solving skills.
- Laughing is also good for us emotionally. It improves our mood, of course, but it can also increase one’s self esteem, and improve hope, optimism and energy levels.
- Relationally, laughter bonds us closer together and even increases how attractive we seem to others. And most importantly, it makes for better, happier marriages!
Having trouble with the “laughter part” of your marriage? Here’s a few ideas to get those chuckles started…
- Start laughing at yourself! No one, including your spouse, will feel comfortable joking with you or letting you joke with them unless they see that you can laugh at your own mistakes and bloopers every once in awhile.
- Have a comedy date night. If you have a bigger budget, try a local comedy or improv club. For a medium budget, try going to see a funny movie. And lower budget? Try to see who can find the funniest Youtube videos. Of course, talk about what you thought was funny after the show/movie/video is over and laugh all over again at your favorite parts.
- Be silly sometimes. Matt and I have the best laughs when one of us is in a silly mood saying the craziest things. Don’t be afraid to “look stupid” in front of your husband or wife. Enjoy the silly moments, even when the rest of life is very serious.
- Laugh during sex. Be careful with this one, do not hurt one another’s feelings, but try a crazy looking position, or role play as silly characters. If things aren’t heating up quickly then don’t be afraid to laugh it off or joke about it. Never aim the laughter at the other, but laugh about the situation and just have fun with sex.
To start off the laughter, try watching the following video together. It comes from one of our favorite Christian comedians, Tim Hawkins, and is him singing a song titled: “The Things You Don’t Say to Your Wife.” Try some of his other videos too!
4 Comments
My husband is the funniest person I know. When we first met he was always clowning around. I think that is one of the first things that attracted me to him. If there isn’t laughter going on in our house, we aren’t home. Our daughters laugh all the time as well. It’s healthy for the whole family. Tickle fights are a good way to start the laughter. After a long hard day I can always look forward to being tickled by my husband. You are right. We have an amazing marriage and it includes a lot of laughing!
Isn’t it great to have clowns for husbands?
My guy certainly is one and he keeps me laughing all the time! Laughter is a blessing and being married to someone who makes you laugh is even better! 
Thanks for your comment!
Hehe- this was a good post, and I especially love the Tim Hawkins vid! Seeing him last January at BTBF was a treat! One thing Im learning about marriage is that the game is mood moderation- he may be in a funny mode and Im serious and vice versa. Sometimes enough is enough! How do you go about addressing this if you don’t want to hurt your hubby’s feelings?! I remember one night we were playing a favorite card game and he proceeded to tape joker cards to my leg- I didnt particularly like this because I thought he was making fun of me (I was losing), and instead of sweetly telling him to stop, I uttered the words that grown men really hate hearing: “Youre acting like a little boy!” and of course, his feelings were hurt because he thought he was just keeping the jesting mood alive that we were sharing ten seconds earlier. Soooooo all this to say we have developed a ‘code’ to stop…”Be sweet…” and if he or I don’t stop immediately, then it can be said again, with more emphasis…”BE SWEEEET…” and this translates rather well for him, and me!! Thanks for blogging, Erin, keep it up!! Lots of love from AR!
You answered your own question!
I think special codes, faces, expressions, etc. are very important for the “Cut it out!” sign. “Be Sweet” is a great phrase and the fact that you both know what it means is so important. You are already so ahead and you have only been married a few weeks! 